Surprises
Isn’t it funny how surprises can be a good or a bad thing?
Growing up, my family wasn’t a big surprise family. My mom is a planner and very organized and she doesn’t love surprises herself.
But I do remember the morning I turned 3. It’s so clear in my memory now almost 37 years later. I woke up, and there was a make all your dreams come true play kitchen in my room! The one that has a microwave that opens, and a sink, and a phone, and little table that pulls out, and an oven. I was so excited I squealed and ran around. My parents still talk about how much they love this memory too. (Also the Care Bears nightgown!)
Now I married into a HUGE surprise family. Everything is a surprise. In fact, its safer just not to tell anyone anything because it might be a surprise. I’ve ruined a few surprises in the Bashta family, simply because I didn’t know they were a surprise to that person. Now, I just don’t say anything:)
It’s a fun tradition and so different for me, but I love how they all thoughtfully think ahead and plan things that they know will mean a lot to each other. Daniel has 4 siblings, and he has surprised all of them by flying in to be at their college graduations. Christmas present opening is an all day affair with rounds of presents and surprise rounds and gifts no one knew was coming. It’s such a trademark for the Bashta family, and it’s super fun! (I almost spoiled a big surprise when one sibling thought another sibling wouldn’t make it to their out of town wedding, and I almost told them they were coming. You have to keep tight lips in that family!:)
Daniel is the king of surprises and my favorite one (out of so many!) is when he took me to dinner at an Italian restaurant, and the waiter brought out a wrapped present for me. I opened up two travel books for Paris and Rome! We left a week later for my 30th birthday, and found out we were pregnant (after 2 years of trying) right before we left. I’m just not sure any surprise will top that memory!
But I was thinking about the other types of surprises. The things in life that we didn’t know were coming, and that aren’t the fun types of surprises. A sickness. A death. A job loss. A missed opportunity. A pregnancy that doesn’t happen, or doesn’t stay. A friendship loss. Just something you were.not.prepared.for!
It can taste bitter. As high as the fun surprises can be, the opposite can bring us crashing down. There’s a lot of unanswered questions and why’s. And “that’s not fair”.
As we tell our kids- life isn’t fair.
But aren’t we glad. Because I know I’ve gotten amazing things I didn’t deserve.
As I’ve walked through some “whyyyyy??” things the last few years, I’ve thought a lot about the acceptance that comes with admitting Life Is Not Fair.
And the growth that comes when we roll with it. When we look at an “Unfair” part of life, and we keep going anyway. When we accept that we probably didn’t deserve that hit, but we feel the strength that comes from believing we can keep walking thought it.
Just like the 3 year old Taylor who woke up to the 1980’s plastic kitchen of her dreams, I know i’ll wake up to some amazing Highs and some crushing Lows. But acceptance is key. It’s part of life.
And the crazy thing is we can help other people who are walking what we have walked. And we can lean on people who have walked what we are walking.
And we’ll get stronger, and better if we choose to keep going and not let bitterness stick around. And we’ll know the good surprises are coming too.
So cheers to life’s great surprise-the fun kind and the hard kind- may they push us on to better!
Maybe my BIGGEST surprise in life so far….a surprise baby Jax on the way after years of fertility treatments!
