My painted lady
This is my painted lady. I have admired these silhouettes for a while, and asked my very talented friend Emily, of Dorothy Wade Ink, to paint one for me. I just sent her some examples and she created this beauty! Her website is HERE if you would like to see more of her work! She is one of my dearest friends from college and is quite talented!
About two years ago I started working with a therapist who specializes in trauma therapy. Remember trauma can be a “big T'“ or a “little t”. People usually think of trauma as a major life event, like a car accident or physical abuse etc. But did you know our bodies read big and small trauma the same way? If it felt traumatic to you, then that’s how your body processed it.
Stress, and trauma, and lack of sleep, and many other things can cause our bodies to react physically. It’s all tied…mind, body, and spirit. And I’m passionate about finding and sharing health in all three areas.
I highly recommend finding a really experienced trauma therapist if you feel that you just don’t know how to process something that's happened in your life.
My therapist walked me through a very detailed five step process that took about a year and half to complete. She had me face my pain. That’s really hard, because we naturally want to run away from pain. But I did it. Slowly, but I faced things I couldn’t control, and things that were my responsibility. The reason we face it, is to heal, to take responsibility where we need to, and to see how we are not a victim to life. We have the power to change, and to never go back to what wasn't healthy. And sometimes we need help to get there. This process was so good and SO hard, and it changed my life.
For our last session, she asked me to have an object ready that portrayed where I felt that I was in my healing at the end of our therapy journey.
I thought about it for a while and looked up at my painted lady, who sits right across from my bed.
I showed my painting to my therapist at our next session.
This woman is pure femininity but she has strength in her shoulders. She is looking forward, not focused on the things in the past that have happened to her, or choices she made.
She’s looking ahead. Sh’e sitting confidently, and probably alone (since she isn’t clothed haha) but she knows who she is and she’s walked through things, good and bad, and she knows she’ll be ok. No matter what, because she’s healed and and she knows herself.
That’s how I imagine her anyway.
If this is how you want to see yourself so badly but you don't know how to get there, I understand. There were so many things a few years ago that I felt like I was reaching towards, but just couldn’t touch.
I encourage you to take one tiny step at a time. Tell someone how you feel. Reach out to a therapist. Go to a support group. Take a walk with a friend and be bold enough to share where you are.
Move forward. Move towards healing. One tiny step at a time…like my painted lady.
“Al-Anon has led me to see that I have choices, especially about my attitudes. I don’t have to…..torment myself with past mistakes or future worries. Today can be the focus of my life. It is filled with interesting activities if I allow myself to see it with a spirit of wonder. When my worries and sorrows cloak me, the laughter and sunshine of the everyday world seem inappropriate to the way I feel. Who is out of sinc- the rest of the world or me?” Today I will live in the present and find what I can to enjoy there. If there is pain, I will accept that too….I will participate in making more of my joy.”
-Courage to Change
